Human Nature? Sinful Nature? Just Plain Selfish?
I put Strong Bad up here because he’s pretty much the epitome of selfish. And because I haven’t got a cartoon of myself. Because I run a close second.
I’m watching from the sidelines over the past few days as a relationship crumbles, and the bodies are laying everywhere. I know of a few other relationships that are hanging by a thread. And sadly, most of them are Christians.
Of course, being Christian doesn’t shield you from bad things happening to you…and it also doesn’t shield you from making idiotic mistakes your OWN self.
So why do we do it? If I only had this one more thing, then I’d be “happy”. If I leave this relationship for that relationship, then I’ll be “happy”. If this person was nicer to me and treated me better, then I’d be “happy”. If this church played my music instead of that music, then I’d be “happy”. If they had listened to me, this wouldn’t have happened and I’d be “happy”.
And what’s the common thread of these thoughts? I…me….I’d….I’ll….
In a word, selfishness.
I find it amazing, and more than a bit disheartening, that as much as I love Anna, it is SO easy for me to not even THINK about putting her first in a situation. I have to really concentrate and make an effort to put her needs above mine. What’s up with that? That’s not the kind of person I want to be, but it IS who I am.
“So you want first place? Then take the last place. Be the servant of all.” - Jesus (Mark 9:35, The Message)
He’s got something there. But how do I do it? Fortunately, He covered that too…
“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?” - Jesus (Matthew 16:24-26, The Message)
Hard. But worth it.
Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.
Comments
It’s really hard to sum it all up but I know people who are always putting others first, always thinking of other’s needs and I too, unfortunately, am not wired that way either. I think for us who desire to be like that we have no choice but to practice till it becomes a habit. I need constant reminders. It actually feels good when you’ve made someone else happy, but I just forget sometimes to stop and think before acting! That’s frustrating.
I too have seen quite a few Christian marriages crumble recently. Satan is working overtime on relationships and he is the one telling us those lies about if we only had this or that we’d be happy. Some of us have to fall a few times till we get wise to his tricks and for others who are not yet seeing it - pray hard for them! One of my very closest friends is going through a divorce right now and at this point is not speaking to me because I finally decided I’m not dancing around her situation anymore, I’m telling her my true thoughts. I believe God wants us to confront sin in order to bring people back. Not in a disrespectful or “holier than thou” way, but in love and in truth. I’m not worried. God will do the rest. I expect to be treated the same way. Sometimes I need to be told too. Hah!
this is a good word. You’re right, that we are so ME-focused we don’t even get a blip on our radar that someone else around us has needs/feelings. If you run a close second to Strong Bad, I’m in third and am gaining….
Does God leave us there? Or has he made a way to grow out of it?
It’s definitely selfishness, however I believe it goes a step (or two or three) deeper and is more about our inability to get our needs met. We as entertainment junkie, god loving, “why god”, believers are often so very poor at knowing how to get our intimate needs met. We often run toward and embrace false intimacy, which is easier and provides a “fix” but as we all know in the long run it is those that find a way to connect on a permanent and more meaningful level that make it.
How do we find who we are in Christ and stay rooted in that truth/moment? Can we even do this in a meaningful and expressive way? I’m not slamming on you … far from it… it is selfishness, but what we really need to do is find a way to place healthy things in our life that meet these needs rather than taking the quick fix.
I could say more… I won’t. (steps from shoe box and exits stage right)